DEAR ABBY: I’m in my early 40s and have been working hard since my mid 20s. I have a nice house that my wife and I are trying to pay off and two kids. We live pretty comfortably, but by no means are we well off.
My dad is very well off, and he finances my older brother to live abroad. My younger sister, who still lives at home with him, is given whatever money she needs or wants. I am growing increasingly resentful about this situation. My two siblings, neither of whom work, are getting free rides from Dad.
My father loves to remind me how much money he has and how successful he is. So why doesn’t he help me pay down my mortgage so my family and I can live a more comfortable life? This is the question that is nagging at me, but I’m not sure whether to ask my dad or not.
Do you have any advice about the direction I should take, and what I can do so I don’t feel so much resentment? — ONE OF THREE IN CANADA
DEAR ONE: Perhaps it’s time to step back and view this situation from a different perspective. You seem to think your father is doing your sister and brother a favor by subsidizing their lifestyles. From where I sit, it looks more like he has spent years fostering their dependence on him rather than helping them to become independent adults. Has it never occurred to you that of the three siblings, you are the only one who is fully functional? Your father may be under the impression that you can comfortably pay your mortgage off by yourself. Stop fuming and have an honest talk with him.

DEAR ABBY: My friend “Julie” has faced several challenges in recent months. She lost her job, and her long-term boyfriend ended their relationship. While I understand her distress, her situation is complicated by the fact that he has a dog that Julie has known since it was a puppy. Despite the emotional and mental abuse he has inflicted on her, she’s willing to visit him to see the dog.
My husband and I, along with her family, have voiced our concerns that he’s manipulating Julie by leveraging her affection for the dog. I advised her to sever ties and move on, because I believe this arrangement is holding her back from moving forward.
Recently, Julie shared that her ex is planning to relocate and take the dog with him, which has added to her heartbreak. She’s often in tears over this situation, and I am at a loss about how to support her. Do you have any suggestions? — FRUSTRATED FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FRIEND: Julie is still mourning the loss of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend. As you stated, the visits with the dog (and him) have only prolonged her grief. Continue to emotionally support your friend as you have been doing and skip the lectures about what a manipulative cad he is. She already knows. Then pray he moves away soon, so the tie can finally be severed, and she can start healing.

(Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.)