PITTSBURGH (TNS) — It didn’t used to be like this — or maybe it always has been and I simply don’t remember: When did our political parties become our identities?

It’s pervasive. I was scrolling through an internet dating site, with my single cousin, and an astounding number of people listed their political affiliations in their mini-biographies. “Just a liberal dude who loves craft beer,” a man wrote. A few years ago, he would have written “Just a dude who loves craft beer.”

I am grappling with all this, because a few days ago, as I was talking about recent White House happenings with a friend, she casually dropped that I was “a progressive, through and through.” I wanted to disagree, as I also have some surprisingly conservative takes (mostly regarding private property).

I DON’T KNOW THE REASON The problem with all-encompassing labels is that they engender all-encompassing beliefs and leave no room for opinions outside the expected. Every conversation is a loyalty test. I feel like a thousand heads would explode if I said I agreed with something President Trump did. I’d either be accused of betraying my progressive principles or pandering to conservatives, and my motives would be questioned.

But it’s happened. In scrolling through Mexican news sources last week, I came across an article about how the heads of cartels are actually worried about Trump. (The New York Times later covered this). They fear American drones coming to kill them. Some sources in Mexico firmly believe that Trump might help eradicate the narco problem once and for all.

At first, I smirked — a “yeah right” kind of reaction. But then, I stopped myself. If Trump can accomplish this, I have to admit, it would be pretty great.

”A broken clock is right twice a day,” my husband intoned, pointing out that the DOGE-driven idea to eliminate the penny might be a good idea. (I disagree with him profoundly on this, as nickels are more expensive to make, and we’ll end up with a much larger loss.) I think there’s more to it. On this issue, Trump might just be right.

His strongman approach is exactly why the cartels are afraid of him. He is a wildcard, and it’s a feature, not a bug, of his personality that in this case could notch him a huge win. Nothing will deter illegal immigration from Mexico like making Mexico a safer country.

STAYED HERE ALL SEASON No given person is all-encompassingly bad, just like no given person is all-encompassingly good. We cannot stop questioning our leaders, and I profoundly disagree with my party on many things. A few months ago, after I pointed out that one of our state’s senators had profited from a morally questionable company, someone asked me how I felt about Nancy Pelosi’s financial gains since becoming a member of Congress. I agreed: Nancy Pelosi’s investment portfolio does invite scrutiny! But our political system doesn’t provide enough options. So we often find ourselves being defined by a certain set of politics that may or may not actually espouse all our beliefs. To refuse to acknowledge that, to choose to defend every move by reflex, makes it impossible for us to reach consensus — or change the direction our parties may take.

Unquestioned loyalty to any political party only makes the opposition the enemy. And we’re all worse off when our neighbors become our enemies. Trust me, I’m putting the finishing touches on a family memoir about a 1948 Colombian civil war that began exactly like that.

Consider the people who have decided to hate Rep. Summer Lee. A person I know, who asked to be identified as Hank, often rants online about “Lee’s squad goals” and “her pandering to the Left.” It’s not hard to find people like Hank in Pittsburgh. After all, almost 44% of the 12th Congressional District voted against her, and most of them seem to have strong feelings about their representative.

But Hank also cares deeply about Medicaid. When I pointed out to him that Lee supports protecting Medicaid funding, he couldn’t figure out how to agree. We wrote about deficits and personal accountability, and eventually, he said something real. He could not give her any credit for anything, because “she’s against my president.”

For Hank, supporting Trump means supporting everything Trump does. If Trump wants to cut Medicaid, there must be something wrong with Medicaid. And Lee. Never mind that Hank’s health depends on Medicaid.

WITH NOTHING TO SHOW BUT A TATTOO We need to start finding our way back to the middle, and that means acknowledging that the other side is not the absolute worst. If I can acknowledge that the Trumps of the world might be doing some things well, the Hanks of the world can see that the Summer Lees might be doing some good, too.

That means we have to let go of politics as a marker of identity. Perhaps it’s the often-ridiculed undecided voters who have the right idea — we should take our politics one issue at a time.

Let’s just be dudes who love craft beer.

(Adriana E. Ramírez is a columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)