The weather outside is frightful, the fire is so delightful — it’s the only happy time of winter, in my opinion — the countdown to Christmas.
As I’ve gotten older, my focus has changed. It used to be that I had to have shiny gift wrap under the tree, reflecting the colorful lights. Now, we haven’t used gift wrap in the past two years. The reason why is what makes the tradition so beloved.
My mother, God rest her soul, was a frugal person. When she got her first gift in a gift bag, I think she exclaimed more about the bag than the gift. She would reuse those for everything. Sending home leftovers? It would be in a gift bag. It might say “Happy Mother’s Day” on it, but it served its purpose.
She passed away in September of 2021. Before that Christmas, my brother gave us her beloved stash of gift bags.
That’s all we used that Christmas. And the one after that. This year, we may have to retire some of the old gift bags, so in fine “Shirley tradition,” as we call it, the new ones are reusable ones we can take to the grocery store.
We have three Christmas trees in our home — small, medium and large. I used to want to make sure we’d use those old bulbs, so fragile that a good sneeze nearby might turn them to dust. But in my mother’s later years, her tree was decorated with all the things we’d got when McDonald’s used to have ornaments, and the ones she’d get with her instant coffee that she loved.
The bulbs stayed in the attic. Bernard and Bianca from “The Rescuers” were on the tree.
And when her grandkids were little, she’d make crafts with them. Those went on the tree, too. My ceramic mouse I painted in elementary school was there; it’s on my tree now.
Sure, those gorgeous trees in store windows with matching colors and evenly spaced ornaments are good for Christmas. But so is our tree, with a ceramic hummingbird that used to be my mother’s — she loved hummingbirds — taking up a lot of space. Disney characters, tourist ornaments from places we’ve traveled, Nutcrackers which my daughter loves, our trees speak to who we are.
My daughter’s other grandma, the late Pat Schellhammer, God rest her soul, passed away in 2014. She loved angels. Our smallest tree is covered with angels that had been in Pat’s collection, and others we’ve collected since.
Our largest tree has ornaments like that ceramic mouse I mentioned, the clothespin reindeer my sister made in Girl Scouts, and Big Bird, the first toy that my daughter fell in love with as a baby.
Memories make our Christmases merry and bright. And it just takes a look at one of the trees to be reminded why the season is so special for us.
It’s always hard to celebrate when someone you love has been lost in the past year. It’s hard to face that first Christmas without them, that first new year without them in it.
This past year, I lost my sister Linda. We have her ashes at my house, and we speak to her often.
As I get older, more and more of my contemporaries are losing loved ones. Coming from a family of 15, I’ve lost two sisters and three brothers, as well as my parents and nearly all of my aunts and uncles. It never gets easier.
At Christmastime, I try to include a decoration, ornament or something that reminds me of them, or a time we had together, so it brings back happy memories — sled riding on brisk winter days, barbecues at my parents’ house, walks together in the woods identifying trees, flowers and animal tracks.
While the world commercializes Christmas more and more each year, and any place you go has that horrid Mariah Carey song blasting from the speakers, I encourage you to take some time to think about what Christmas means to you — whether you are religious, pagan, or whatever.
Take some time to celebrate those you love and hold dear.
And hope Bing Crosby or Burl Ives is on the store speakers when you must shop.
(Marcie Schellhammer is a reporter and editor for The Era. She can be reached at marcie@bradfordera.com)
