When I was twenty years old my mom told me, “Before you get married look at your girlfriend with both eyes wide open. Once you get married close one eye because you’ll see things you can’t change.” When we’re in love, we’re extremely optimistic. We overlook our partner’s flaws and some people even believe they can change their spouse once they get married. I can almost hear you laughing. I’m going to take my mother’s advice, close one eye and describe why this story has relevance to your career.
I found a survey that suggests more than half of the population is unhappy with their boss. A large majority of the people surveyed said they would give up a pay raise for a new boss. Another survey reports that 75 percent of employees say the most stress of their jobs come from their immediate supervisor. Consider that we spend one-third of our lives at work and that becomes a depressing statistic.
Why do so many people dislike their boss? Personally, this is good for my business as a professional recruiter. The number one reason people leave employers is to get away from their boss. I find it ironic there’s an unwritten rule that we don’t discuss this topic during job interviews, but we all know what’s going on. And if you are one of those people willing to throw your boss under the bus during a job interview, you just may have discovered why you aren’t getting any job offers.
It’s the holiday season and I’m proposing we all give our bosses a little empathy for a job that can sometimes be impossible. They have their flaws, but most of them are trying their best. I’m not suggesting we give them a free pass, but let’s consider the dilemma they’ve put themselves in.
Too many people enter management for all the wrong reasons. It’s a pay raise and job title that sounds good. Then months later we realize that managing people isn’t fun, and it takes us away from the real job we once enjoyed. Even if you don’t need the help, sit down and ask your boss for some advice. Many managers miss doing the real work and it will make them feel good to get away from all the administrative tasks they don’t enjoy.
No need to spend a lot of money, but how about a small gift that creates a personal connection? A gift that shows him or her you’re aware of what they enjoy. Whatever you do, please don’t send an email in place of a card. You can still send that silly internet card, but people love to open a real card with a personal note. After a job interview I always encourage people to send a handwritten thank you note instead of a text message from their cell phone.
Becoming a boss is similar to becoming a parent. It doesn’t come with an instruction manual. There are lots of policy handbooks they’re expected to follow and enforce, but handling the people problems is the real art of being a leader. Unfortunately, most managers are chosen based on their technical expertise and not their people skills.
We could argue whether great leaders are born or made, but does it really matter? If I’m working for someone who has my best interest at heart I can live with the fact they won’t always get it right. There will be days when their patience is lacking and sparks will fly. I don’t see that as a lack of skill and it’s just part of being human.
It’s my holiday wish that we all let down our guard for a day or two and simply remember we’re all on the same team. Some days we’re clumsy and some days we won’t get it right. But let’s never forget it takes all the people to make it happen. Happy holidays!
