Explain somethin’ to me.
Maybe you’re not the professional I need to converse with. Perhaps I could use a high priest, but in reality I require a football head coach or somebody who pretends to be one.
Here’s the enigma and I won’t be able to sleep until it’s solved. I even tried counting sheep but I’m allergic to wool.
The offensive and defensive lines in football assume a three-point stance before the pigskin is hiked and then assume a vertical position to begin the play. This seems to be a waste of time bending over and then standing up.
Say you’re in the office and the boss summons you over to his or her desk? Are you going to place your hand on the floor and pancake the geek with the pencils in his pocket before arriving at the final destination? No. That would look sillier than a Monty Python walk.
Maybe I need to delve into the root of the dilemma, but it’s too late as Pop Warner died in 1954.
Yeah. I know you’re thinking I could’ve sent a card, but I was only three years old at the time and all the sympathy cards at Walmart were on the top row.
That’s the same Glenn Scobey “Pop” Warner who as head coach guided the University of Pittsburgh to three national titles in 1915, 1916 and in 1918 when we didn’t have instant replay..
Pop earned his moniker because he was much older than his teammates while playing football at Cornell. Ironically my daughters call me “Pop” and for good reason.
Warner not only invented the three-point stance during his coaching days, but he also introduced the screen pass, spiral punts, the double wing and double stuffed Oreos. Rumor has it.
One more tidbit about Pop and then we can all get back to our lives. Warner was born in 1871 up north in Springville, which reminds me the next time I’m in that vicinity to stop at Tim and Bonnies for a 10-piece order of their delicious honey molasses wings. Ummmmm.
*****
The knee-high socks of the Carolina Panthers look marvelous in high definition.
Did you know Glidden.com has the same Carolina blue paint in stock? Just ask for NFL-170B.
*****
I get great joy in those sideline plays when a cameraman or a coach gets trampled. I’m sure their loved ones would disagree, but it makes my day.
*****
What’s up with Sparty?
In early December the Michigan State basketball team was ranked No 1 in the country after a big win against Kansas and now the Spartans are 3-4 in the Big Ten.
Sparty is in much better shape than conference foe Rutgers as the Scarlet Knights are currently 0-7 with an average deficit of 28 points per game. That total includes a take-us-out-to-the-proverbial-wood-shed 107-57 drubbing to Purdue. Ouchie.