Where is Bill Nye “The Science Nerd” when you need him?

This weekend I noticed the Minnesota Vikings’ uniforms seemed dark blue in the shade and then purple in the sunlight. Were my eyes playing high definition tricks on me?

So I looked up Bill Nye “The Science Guy” on Wikipedia, which is the internet’s leading source for people who don’t know a darn thing.

I learned the 60-year-old Nye had interesting parents as his mother Jacqueline was a code breaker in World War II. I guess Bill wasn’t able to hide any secrets from mom around the house.

Nye’s father Edwin was imprisoned in a Japanese war camp where he became a sundial enthusiast. Rumor has it he could watch sundials all day until it got dark.

Back in the late seventies Bill Nye took an astronomy class at Cornell University taught by Carl Sagan, who died of pneumonia 1996 and I’ll bet you never even sent a card.

If you didn’t know, Sagan was a leading authority in astronomy, astrophysics, cosmology, astrobiology, space science and planetary science. And I thought I was multitasking working in The Era mail room and the sports department.

Nye also appeared on one of those network dancing with the stars shows I don’t watch where he tore a quadriceps tendon. That’s exactly why I tell the wife I don’t fast dance.

Nye was married in 2006 until the wedded bliss only lasted seven weeks when his estranged-to-be poisoned his garden with a herbicide.

“Hey woman. Those were my prized tomatoes.”

According to the web site Nye is a huge Seattle Mariners’ fan. That’s kind of rough these days, but maybe he knows Joe Beimel.

Now with all of his knowledge perhaps Nye can figure how the Vikings’ Blair Walsh missed the game-winning field goal in the 10-9 loss to Seattle on Sunday.

Some are blaming holder Jeff Locke for having the laces exposed. I don’t care if Tom Brady snuck onto the Minnesota sideline and substituted a deflated football with the laces untied. You gotta make a 27-yarder even if the Minnesota weather was colder than Checkpoint 7 at the Iditarod.

Of course Walsh feels just awful missing the chip shot, but the 26-year-old native of Boca Raton (FL) received some encouraging letters from an elementary school this week.

The children were very supportive except for the kid who wrote, “Bite me.”

*****

It could be two calls to the bullpen for Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Manning when the Pittsburgh Steelers and Denver Broncos clash in the Mile High City on Sunday.

For some odd reason I was thinking of David Bowie, who died at the age of 69 on Monday.

I don’t think I’ve ever owned one of his albums, but one of my favorite Bowie’s songs is “Space Oddity” and especially the version in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” when Kristin Wiig sings it to Ben Stiller.

She is so hot. Can I say “hot?” Did you know Wiig is from Canandaigua (NY)? We’re almost neighbors.

So anyway I’m checking out the “Space Oddity” lyrics and the few lines sound like Steelers’ fans pleading for their star quarterback to suit up this weekend.

“This is ground control to Big Ben. Take your pain pills and put your helmet on.”