The only thing I hate more than broccoli is Duke.
In a perfect world, which we haven’t seen since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, Gonzaga would’ve been in the NCAA Final Four instead of Duke.
Instead of watching the Zags we’re now stuck with the Dukies against a boring Michigan State in the first semifinal today.
Wake me up after that’s over. Maybe I’ll watch the Justin Bieber Comedy Roast. And then maybe not.
I have no problem with the feature game involving Kentucky and Wisconsin that will be intriguing because of the historic bad blood between the states.
Everyone remembers the Wisconsin-Kentucky War of 1893 when the Bluegrass militia raided the state of Wisconsin after Kentucky had run out of cheese.
It was truly a dire state of affairs in the early nineties where a decent grilled cheese couldn’t be found in the Lexington area.
The Kentuckians pillaged the Wisconsin country side and filled their satchels with Havarti, Swiss, Gouda, Gorgonzola, Butter Kase, Colby, Goat cheddar, Muenster, Monterey Jack and curds. Then they went amongst the dairy air and tipped over all the cows.
A month later the Wisconsins exacted revenge when their army infiltrated the southern border and drank all of the Kentucky bourbon.
On the return trip the Cheesehead army encamped in Indiana to sleep off a huge hangover and that’s where they realized the medics didn’t bring the Tylenol.
Tonight the cheese eaters will suffer another headache versus those 38-0 Kentucky thoroughbreds and we can feel their pain by playing a little game.
Every time Wisconsin makes a basket we can eat a chunk of cheddar and then gulp a shot of bourbon when Kentucky scores.
Bon appetit.
*****
I’ve been waiting for this date of infamy forever.
It has been well documented that April 6th was the day Italian speed walker Maurizio Damilano and Indian cricket batsman Dilip Vengsarkar were born in the late fifties, but I’m talking about the season openers for Major League Baseball.
Once again I shall live and die with the Los Angeles Dodgers as long as Vin Scully is the play-by-play announcer. Knock on wood. Scully is in his 66th consecutive year with the Dodgers at the ripe old age of 87 years young. I’m just hoping at 87 I’m not boots up.
Over the winter the Dodgers traded star outfielder Matt Kemp to San Diego, which was the biggest deal in baseball since 1973 when Yankee pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson swapped wives.
*****
This entered my mind as I was passing the Derrick City fire hall the other day. Is Bingo a sport?
*****
I was trying to avoid this subject until a reader asked how things were going since my mild stroke in January.
My speech capacity is limited so it is pertinent to keep a sentence short. My uncle in Rockview should be so lucky.
