Finally. Football season is here. As of midnight tonight (last
night, as you’re reading this), my cell phone ringtone will be set
to the ESPN College GameDay theme. Someone call me so I can hear
it!

Football has to be the most anticipated sports season of them
all, right? Think how much more exciting opening day would be if
there were no preseason … But I suppose they all need the
tune-up.

Mike Tirico already is in fine form, chiming in with his
elaborate and perfectly accurate explanations. The other day – just
when I was wondering – he went ahead and told us all why
quarterbacks now have that green dot on their helmets.

Basically, it’s the Michael Vick Rule (Note: This will serve as
the first and last time you will read about any member of the Vick
family in this column.).

Last year, the Falcons had two quarterbacks in the game at the
same time (Vick and Matt Schaub), giving them two players with
helmets wired for radio headsets on the field at once. That’s
cheating.

The dots are in place for this season, even though the league
probably won’t have to worry about a team violating that rule for
at least another one to five.

Thank goodness I happened to be watching that game because who
wants to sit around and look that up on the Internet?

One tidbit I did find on the Internet (and didn’t notice last
season) was that J.P. Losman was one of only four quarterbacks in
the NFL to take every snap for their team in 2006. No, no wait, it
was Mr. Tirico, not the Internet.

The others were Alex Smith for San Francisco, Peyton Manning for
Indianapolis and Jon Kitna for Detroit.

Also on Losman’s highlight sheet from 2006 is a quarterback
rating of 84.9 (11th best in the league), a ninth-best completion
percentage of 62.5 (up from a league-worst 49.6 percentage in 2005)
and 19 touchdown passes. Who threw more touchdowns than J.P. in the
AFC last season? Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, Philip Rivers and Peyton
Manning. That’s it and that’s good company.

Then there was the 64-yard bomb he threw to partner Lee Evans in
the Bills’ preseason game against Tennessee last week. The guy
launched a perfect strike from his own 28-yard line to the Titans’
16, catching Evans in stride for the touchdown. That’s fun to
watch.

So aren’t you tired of people saying J.P. “Lose”man?

I am. First of all, it’s unoriginal. Secondly, it’s not
true.

Tony Kornheiser would say, “He’s your boy!” You’re right, Tony,
he is.

Another potentially exciting QB-WR combination in the AFC East
is, admittedly, Tom Brady and Randy Moss in New England. But, is it
me, or do Brady and Moss seem a little like oil and water? On
second thought, that could cause more problems than it solves.

Apparently, one thing Brady has no problems with is dressing
himself. Over the summer you might have seen that Brady was
selected by “Esquire” magazine as the best-dressed man in the
world. Not in New England, not in the NFL – in the world. Who
picked that one – The Association of NFL Commentators Who Can’t Get
Enough Tom Brady (of which every single NFL commentator is a
member)?

I dislike the Patriots so much that I can’t even watch Kyle play
against them on Madden ’08 – I go read in the other room. If I get
all my picks right this season then they’re going to lose every
game. Well …

Here’s to hoping!

AFC East

1. Buffalo

2. Miami

3. New York Jets

4. New England

AFC NORTH

1. Baltimore

2. Cincinnati

3. Pittsburgh

4. Cleveland

AFC SOUTH

1. Indianapolis

2. Jacksonville

3. Tennessee

4. Houston

AFC WEST

1. San Diego (AFC, Super Bowl champions)

2. Denver

3. Kansas City

4. Oakland

NFC EAST

1. Philadelphia (NFC champions)

2. Dallas

3. New York Giants

4. Washington

NFC NORTH

1. Chicago

2. The rest

NFC SOUTH

1. New Orleans

2. Carolina

3. Tampa Bay

4. Atlanta

NFC WEST

1. San Francisco

2. Arizona

3. Seattle

4. St. Louis